Take a good look at him. He's the bad guy.
And Joe Jarrett... that's me... and Zack Thomas, we're the good guys.
Let's go!
Tell the driver to stop! Tell him to surrender.
I'm with the railroad. Tell him I demand he gives up the money.
- Our lives are worth more than money! - Did you mention money?
There's $100,000 on this stagecoach.
$100,000? I'm glad I'm fighting for a worthy cause.
- I hate to waste ammunition. - You're not a railroad man, are you?
I'm anybody's man, mostly my own.
Get ready.
Swing out! Move up on the outside.
The other window.
"To Jonas Ansel, for 20 years'...
...unwavering loyalty.
Thaddeus Markham, President, Texas Interstate Railroad."
It chimes.
Look out!
Get out of there!
Keep after them!
Hold it!
They're picking us off like flies.
Whoa up there, you jugheads! Whoa!
Hold on down there. I'll get them under control.
Whoa!
- What about Zack Thomas? - That's him driving the stage.
Burden said to get Zack Thomas and the money.
- So? - So I was just wondering.
Well, stop wondering.
- Anybody else just wondering? - Nope. Not me, boss.
I'm going back to Galveston.
I'll have this under control in a minute.
Yeah, you do that.
Hang on to your hat, Ansel. Here we go!
They tried to tell me the meek would inherit the earth.
Kinda awkward, me having the drop on you, huh?
Hold that!
Back off!
- Where's the little man in there? - Ansel? He was took dead.
This can't be his money. He was so anxious to give it away.
- He's just a railroad agent. - Transporting for the railroad.
They overcharged me for years. This can be a rebate.
- He left that as a little remembrance? - The scarf?
It was his dying wish. He insisted.
He insisted you take the watch too?
You wouldn't believe it. That fellow was all heart.
It chimes.
Start loading. Paper money first.
Don't pout. Just fill the bag. Hurry it up.
It's gonna be easy to spend.
Don't forget all the sacks.
The Good Book says:
"Cheaters never prosper. Square-shooters always win."
Come on. Lay it up here.
Change the literature. What you're reading ain't doing you good.
They said that before I burned down the Sunday school.
- Anything else, master? - Unhitch me a horse.
- Now. - Yes, sir.
Looks like money. Feels like money. Sounds like money.
- It's a lovely sound. - Pity it ain't all gold.
You'd pleasure yourself to death listening to it.
I figure you got a name, boy.
Thomas. Zachariah Thomas. And you?
- I'll find out sooner or later. - Jarrett. Joe Jarrett.
Well, Joe, I think there's something you should know.
This ain't railroad money. It's investment money.
You see, there's a man over in Galveston's got an idea.
So the president of the railroad financed him.
You saying he smooth-talked Markham out of $100,000?
Yep. Me.
- You? - Me.
- I think I underrated you. - I think you did, Joe.
You're just slow in catching on. But I'm beginning to like you, Joe.
- I might cut you in. - Don't talk me out of this loot.
- I'm not a soft-hearted president. - I want to talk you into something.
- Now this here's a lot of money. - Ordinarily $100,000 would be...
...enough for two, but not me. You see, I was born greedy.
If my plan works, we'll get a half a million a year.
- Thank you, Zack. - Now you wanna buy in?
I'll quit while I'm ahead.
Nothing personal, mind you. I'm beginning to like you too.
A man who tries to con you with a gun on him can't be bad.
Like you just said, I guess you underrated me, Joe.
I'll tell you why I didn't go for your proposition, Zack.
You don't have the proper respect for a man's money.
I appreciate your thinking about it.
Zachariah, rest easy.
I'm gonna put this here money to good use.
Zachariah, can you hear me? Can you hear me?
I was gonna give you a break.
I'm starting to change the rules, Zachariah.
Why you dirty... You no-good son of a...
What's the matter?
You need a rifle if you wanna play this game, Joe.
Sorry, Joe. I still can't hear you.
Zack, you're calling the rules. What you want?
I can hear you better now, Joe. Throw those guns down.
Both of them. Yours and mine.
Walk to me with your hands up where I can see them.
Both hands.
That's right, Joe. Keep walking towards me.
That's fine.
Hot day for a stroll, ain't it, Joe?
They tell me them boots ain't built for walking.
They ain't exactly house slippers.
- I thought you'd never get here. - I've been thinking it over.
Now, mind you, I'm not saying yes, but...
...you know, I wanna talk about that business proposition.
Forget it. They don't build riverboats big enough for the two of us.
Riverboat?
I'm gonna take the horses.
What about me?
Know what the Injun said when asked why he rode and the squaw walked?
He said, "She got no 'hoss."'
Take the horses and walk to the money. I'll be right behind you.
If that's what he said he was a smart Indian.
Start with the guns and the carpetbag.
Why not? It looks like it's your money.
You're agreeable for a man about to lose $100,000.
Easy come, easy go.
- Sure is hot. - It's gonna get hotter too.
- Along noon, it will be a scorcher. - For you. Drop it.
Come on, Zack. That's it. Now back off.
You shouldn't play aces in another man's game.
How about those horses? You can't ride all of them.
This is a set and I wouldn't want to break it up.
You were right about those boots. They ain't made for walking.
And like the Indian said, "You ain't got no 'hoss."'
So long, Zachariah.
Careful of sunstroke.
It gets hot this time of day.
Serves me right for trusting that miserable...
Young ladies and young gentlemen.
One of you is naughty.
I felt something hit my, my... person.
I'm going to turn my back...
...and I want the owner of that insidious instrument...
...to place it on the ground behind me.
Remember, young ladies and gentlemen...
...l'm putting you on your honor.
Well, I'm waiting.
We don't have all day.
I'm glad to know that there is honor amongst you.
- "Honor, in the final analysis..." - "...is all that man has."
Joseph.
- Joseph Jarrett! - Won't you change your quotes?
- Put me down. - Not until you let me have a big kiss.
What have you been doing?
After I left here I got out of law school. Drifted some.
Practiced a little. Spent a couple years in the war.
On the wrong side, naturally. Then I came right back here.
Poor Mr. Lantern. He died, you know.
Since then, we haven't been able to meet the mortgage.
- Well, how much is it? - It's a great deal of money.
Much more than you make practicing law in a year.
Well now, would it be more than that?
You made all that practicing law?
Not exactly. I invested a little in transportation.
Stagecoach lines and railroads, you know.
You put it all in a stagecoach line? That's risky. Be careful.
Just the other day, the stage was robbed and people were killed.
- Somebody got away with $100,000. - Yeah, I heard that.
The local authorities, do they know who did it? No.
You haven't even thanked me for the money.
I'll thank you, just as soon as you get out of those clothes.
In that outfit, you'll be nabbed for sure.
No smiling Joe Jarrett, no ma'am. I'm heading for Galveston.
There's bigger thieves than me running every bank in town.
It's Mr. Burden! Mr. Burden!
- Don't go away, Mr. Burden! - Please wait! Mr. Burden!
Mr. Burden, could we talk to you? We sure would aspire to talk to you.
- You know that we're both widows. - As a banker...
...I am proud to serve the widows of this community and the orphans.
It is my sacred trust to protect...
...the savings that mean so much to your future.
The boarding house has been losing money.
We thought a clean coat of paint...
...would help business and... - We'd like to borrow $100.00.
Nothing would delight me more.
- Bless you, Mr. Burden. - But...
...if I loan money to widows, they might be late with the payments.
Mightn't they?
You wouldn't want a sensitive man like myself...
...to foreclose on poor widows and orphans...
...and throw them out into the streets, now would you?
Of course not, Mr. Burden.
I knew you'd see it my way.
- Good morning, ladies! - Good morning, Mr. Burden!
He's absolutely right.
- We've been thoughtless. - And he put it so nicely.
- It's worse than war. - What war? There you are.
Please, I know you're upset. Give me time.
Gentlemen.
Please.
- Heart attacks he gives me. - He has to be destroyed.
Gentlemen, Williams was right.
This is a war. The war between us and Zack Thomas.
Beg my pardon. Crab Orleans. Tasty, but too rich.
Burden, we'll all thank you for your report on Zack Thomas.
Yes, and about time.
Yes. Of course.
Well, they say he got away with the money.
That's regrettable.
You'll have to fight for your lives, your business lives.
I suggest $5,000 apiece to the war chest.
- $5,000? I could buy a mountain... - Gentlemen.
Gentlemen!
We wanted an open town and we got it with Zack Thomas.
And a black day it was.
My store caters to the homespun desires of the Galveston housewife.
I've been paying a part of my income to this Thomas for nearly three years.
I never liked it and I like it even less.
I agree Zack has been taking his job too seriously.
I realized that when he said my bank was like a gambling house...
...and demanded a piece of the action. Now he has to go.
With capital, he'll call the tune. He'll drive us out of business.
- Marie. - Oui, madame.
- Wash and air this in that order. - Oui, madame.
And try to stay out of Mr. Thomas' way.
- He doesn't like too much help. - Oui, madame.
- And neither do I. - Oui, madame.
"Joe Jarrett.
Wanted for 16 counts of larceny, embezzlement...
...grand theft, fraud and disorderly conduct."
Not bad.
A shave, a bath. Quite handsome, actually.
"Disorderly conduct."
Elya.
- Did you find that circular? - Yes, and don't roar.
Stop mooning over that cheap four-flusher's picture. Bring it here.
Coming, dear.
"Coming, dear." Tell me, Susie, Fifi...
...what does that mean in woman's talk? Ten, five minutes?
A little higher, please.
- No, no more. - Oui, Monsieur Thomas.
So, it means, "Oui, Monsieur Thomas."
Oui, Monsieur Thomas.
Nothing like a straight answer to make a fellow feel secure.
I feel like there's a conspiracy going on.
Not against me. That I could handle. This is more devious.
Every damn thing I want is done one second before I want it done.
But Mr. Thomas, we just do what Madame Carlson tells us to.
Of course. Of course.
- I hope you enjoyed the rubdown today. - It was exciting.
I hope I didn't make your shower too hot.
I doubt if you could make anything too hot for Mr. Thomas, dear.
Pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?
Of course. Am I not indispensable?
Well, I...
Girls that giggle are not for you. When they stop giggling...
...I fire them.
Yes, I noticed quite a turnover.
You have to get older before you get girls as young as that.
How about a week or so? That'll be fine.
Out, all of you. And try not to trip over your own feet.
- Mr. Thomas' shoes need a brush-up. - Oui, madame.
Five thousand dollars. You want to take my blood too?
Here's my contribution.
Gentlemen, thank you. Thank you, gentlemen. It is...
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Just leave your money on the table. It's a bank. It should be safe.
Amuse yourselves.
Have an apple.
Matson, I asked you always to meet me at my house.
You were supposed to get rid of Zack and bring me the money.
You did neither.
Can you give me a reason why I should pay you?
I lost six of my best men. That's six good reasons.
There was no need to lose those men.
Perhaps you just handled it badly.
When we planned it...
...nobody said a thing about a sharpshooter on that stage.
That's right. We didn't know that. He might have been hired by Zack.
It don't matter now. Six men are dead, ain't they?
Now you pay me all of it.
Matson, remove your hand!
That's a Chinese silk shirt!
I'll pay you.
Harvey, you should've hired me instead of passing me up for Zack.
Now you'll have to hire me to put a bullet in his brain.
I'm telling you now, the day I deliver his body...
...l'm gonna want a lot more money than this.
And just as a bonus, I'm gonna want Zack Thomas' job.
Like this, you've got...
...me and all this and Texas too.
Just a touch. You know how I like them.
- Don't say, "Oui, Monsieur Thomas." - Oui, Monsieur Thomas.
I apologize for the intrusion, Madame Carlson.
This brute has forced me to wait in the hall and it's important.
- Should I throw him out? - Throw me out!
Remember, I'm the president of the bank...
...where your employer does business! - I remember.
- Want me to throw him out? - No, show him this.
Sure, boss. Here.
I'll be waiting for you in the bedroom.
Won't take long. I'll be right there.
You figure it's the same fellow on the coach?
- The one that got away with the money? - That's him.
Why did you let him get away with it? I mean, $100,000.
He gave me a story about not having had a hot meal.
Beside, what are you so concerned about? It's my $100,000.
She want something?
I don't think you fit the bill, Harv.
Here, boss.
I think madame wants a shine.
What are you gonna do about that $100,000?
If you were a young fellow full of beans with $100,000...
...where would you go?
How should I know? I loathe beans.
I figure Jarrett would head for some wide-open town.
Like right here in Galveston.
When he does, we'll be waiting for him. Me and the boys.
This picture's buried in my head solid, like a rock.
That'll be all, Fifi. Thank you very much.
- Don't say, "Oui, Monsieur Thomas." - Oui, Monsieur Thomas.
Shut up, Fifi.
Ready for a little workout now? We'll go a couple of rounds.
Let's forget it for today, Chad.
Forget it? But how you gonna relax?
I'll think of something.
I'll see you later at the office.
Sure, boss.
Oh, here.
Thanks, boss.
What about the riverboat? Have you foreclosed yet?
I can't. The note's not due for a few weeks.
You know, something tells me you're not too happy with me.
Me? Zack, how can you say such a thing?
Oh, it's not too hard.
There was something peculiar about the stagecoach incident.
What I mean to say is that the bandits seemed rather well-informed.
Zack, what're you saying?
What I'm saying is, if anything happens to me...
...there's a brief of notes on you and your friends. Understand that?
Zack, that means you don't trust me.
On the contrary, I trust you as much as you trust me.
Nice to have seen you, Mr. Burden.
Nice to have seen you.
You know, she's right. She is indispensable.
Strawberry!
Hey, take a look.
Yeah, how lucky!
He's a doll.
When did he get to town?
Are you sure that's him?
It's him, I tell you.
All right.
Come on, let's go!
Let's get him.
Here we are, sir. The Congress Hotel.
- Are you sure that's him? - Yeah, I'm sure.
All right.
If I can be of any assistance...
- I'm Prince George, at your service. - Well, stick around. I may need you.
Thank you, sir.
- Thank you, sir. - The bag.
It's about time. I've been waiting for you.
It's good to feel wanted. Who are you?
They call me Angel.
That's not as important as who you are, Mr. Jarrett.
- You got my name. What do you want? - To save your life. For a price.
How much?
We'll discuss it later. You, Max and me.
They want what's in that carpetbag.
It's not in there.
- How honest are you, and who's Max? - Do you have time to doubt me or Max?
I'll get them for you.
You got a point. Deposit this in the bank.
- Bank? - The money's in the lining.
Will you wait a minute? I'll tell you when.
Here, my good man. Hold this.
I'm not your good man. He is!
Gentlemen, please.
Why, you ruffians!
Son, consider yourself temporized.
Ain't no money in this bag. It's empty!
- What do you mean? If you're lying... - You want to take a look? Go ahead!
The little guy. Angel.
The money must've been in Jarrett's coat. Why that...
I'll get that...
- You and that rig of yours for sale? - We're for hire, Mr. Jarrett.
Maybe you'll make a gentleman of me.
- It would be a pleasure. - Get the bag.
You say this fellow Jarrett is a lawyer?
Yes, but none of us are perfect, Mr. Burden.
He seems mighty sure of himself.
You're certain he didn't... Good morning, Mr. Wallace.
You're certain he didn't mention any government affiliations?
There are some things that Mr. Jarrett doesn't discuss with me.
You, Mr. Thomas and your partners have nothing to worry about.
- Right? - Of course not!
Our books are always open for examination.
The people at Galveston Savings and Trust...
...are always pleased to welcome a depositor.
Yes, I figured as much.
It's a beautiful day. There's a smell of money in the...
There's a smell of money in the air today!
Adieu, Mr. Burden. Adieu.
Someday, little man, I'll make you a little man.
$1982.63.
- Now, your percentage of that... - Just totals. I'll figure percentages.
As you wish, Mr. Thomas. Of course.
Roulette, $1538.
$1500? What happened there?
There was trouble with one of the wheels.
You're gonna have to speak up, Alfred.
If you don't speak any louder...
...I might suspect that you're knocking down on me.
Of course, Mr. Thomas. I'll speak loud. I'll speak real loud.
You see this laryngitis...
You'll have to speak louder.
By the way, Mr. Thomas, these books are in a terribly disoriented state.
Some of the men make their reports on Wednesdays, some on Thursdays.
By the time I get the figures and put them in the book, the system...
It's just a little off, Alfred.
- What'd you say about the roulette? - Nothing, Mr. Thomas.
- Beat it, Alfred. - But the figures...
Leave the book here. You got the bag.
- Nice going, Chad. - Thanks, boss. Yeah, I got it.
Some of it.
Some of it?
It's empty, boss.
It's empty, all right.
The law of averages caught up with you.
- You just made an accurate statement. - Thanks, boss.
Did you search him?
Well, no, come to think of it. The little guy, Angel...
...ran off with his pockets. - Pockets?
I mean, with his coat.
Come in.
I've got some news that'll interest you...
...about a deposit that was made in my bank.
A large deposit.
He's smarter than I thought.
It's only for $ 75,000, though.
What do you think he did with the other $25,000?
How do I know?
All I know is it's my money. What do you propose to do about it?
As I see it, as a banker...
...the money was deposited quite legally.
It is impossible for you or me...
...to lay a finger on it without legal action.
You understand, naturally, that such action would freeze it.
You must also understand that anything I can do for you personally...
...I would be happy to do.
Naturally, Harvey, naturally.
But tell me, how long do you think this money will be frozen?
I wouldn't say the whole process would take more than one or...
...two years.
Forget about it. I'll handle it myself, directly.
- Where's he staying? - The Congress.
Tell him I'll see him in 1/2 hour at Orlando's. I'm buying.
Sure, boss.
- Buying what? - Lunch.
Suppose he ain't hungry?
Tell him it's where the women are young and the bourbon is aged.
- He'll be there. - Yeah, boss.
Zack, how are you gonna get that money back?
Harvey, my boy, I wouldn't be too concerned.
I'll figure a way out.
- Right, but it's $500 short. - That's my fee for saving your life.
$500? A life comes cheap around here.
Well, for you I made a special price.
Yes siree, and that includes fixing your coat.
The minute I saw you, I said to myself, "Angel, my boy..."
"...now he just might be the boy to do it."
Do what?
Cut Zack Thomas and his crowd down to size.
I traded my suit of armor in for a bank book, right?
If you want someone to champion your cause, you got the wrong man.
What about the riverboat?
They don't build riverboats big enough for the two of us.
- Riverboat? - Max is in trouble. Big trouble.
I figure a man like you, who doesn't scare so easy...
Going someplace?
The fight's over. You lost. Beat it.
Yeah, you're right.
- That's the way to handle them, boss. - Oh, I forgot.
Mr. Thomas wants you at Orlando's in 1/2 hour.
- What's Orlando's? - It's a restaurant. First-class.
Why meet him there?
The boss has eaten there every day for four years.
I don't think he'll change now.
Tell him I'll be there in 15 minutes. If he wants to see me...
...he'll do the same thing.
Yeah, Mr. Jarrett.
How did you like that?
With your head and my muscle, we could run this town.
Now you're talking my language.
I told you, you couldn't come in! Mr. Harvey's having his...
I told him not to come in, Master Harvey.
Get out.
Did Jarrett deposit the money?
Yes, but it doesn't make a difference.
It makes a difference to me.
- Now I can kill Zack Thomas. - No, Matson.
It'll incriminate me, all of us. We'll go to jail.
Please. He told me he left a dossier.
- I'm fed up to here with Zack Thomas. - Matson!
Please, Matson.
We'll see, Harvey, we'll see. But I ain't making no promises.
In that case, I feel obliged to warn Zack.
No, you won't warn Zack, Harvey.
Because if you do...
...l'm gonna put a bullet right into that belly!
I know you're afraid of spending a long time in jail.
But it's a whole lot better than spending a long time dying.
Aren't you gonna eat your sandwich?
- Well? - How can I eat at a time like this?
So long, Harv. Remember, it's a long time dying.
Shut up!
- Good day, Madame Elya. - Good afternoon, Chester.
Mr. Thomas is inside waiting.
- Good afternoon, madame. - Good afternoon.
How charming you look. How wonderful. What a charming dress!
My dear.
- I came as soon as... - We'll have two Zachariah specials.
- I'll order lunch later. - Yes, Mr. Thomas.
I came as soon as I got your message. But next time...
...do give me some more time.
I loathe to get dressed in a hurry.
You couldn't be more beautiful if you took three hours.
That's a compliment, I take it.
Now, darling, tell me, what is so important?
Jarrett's in town.
The man from the wanted poster?
He'll be along in a few minutes.
Elya, honey, I was wondering...
- Your drinks, Mr. Thomas. - Thank you, Fred.
To your health, darling.
- Elya, honey, I was wondering if you... - What were you wondering, Zack?
When you get that tone and call me "honey, Elya"...
...you're usually after something.
You are the most suspicious woman.
I was wondering if you'd be nice to him.
Nice?
How nice?
About $ 75,000 worth of nice.
Tell me, darling, this fellow Jarrett...
Is he at least attractive?
From the picture you couldn't tell what he looked like.
He needed a shave.
He couldn't look much better even with a shave.
He probably has jowls that hang to there.
Talk about bags...
...I bet he has satchels like steamer trunks under here.
Does sound funny, doesn't it?
You'll never know, darling.
Through laughing? Let me in on the joke.
I give you a hint, Zack. In my country, we have a saying:
"A secret whispered in a coffeehouse is as confidential as a headline."
Don't look at me so strangely, Zack. Laugh, please.
I don't think it's funny.
My darling, this is no time to lose your sense of humor.
I've never known a problem that Zack Thomas couldn't handle.
- No thanks, Fritz. - Thank you, sir.
As I was saying, dear, life is much, much too short to...
- You? - Not me. Him.
That's an awful fall he took.
I suppose you think I should thank you.
Look out, Zack!
Fancy place for target practice. Anybody we know?
Only too well.
If you ain't out of Galveston by sundown, you'll be real dead.
Get him out of here.
You heard Mr. Thomas. Get him out of here.
Imagine a thing like that in a place like this.
What a mistake. You should've shot his gun hand.
Won't make any difference. Shoot it off, I'll still get you.
Shoot out my eyes, I'll still find you!
Put a bullet in my heart, I'll make a deal with the devil!
I'll trade for enough time to come back and kill you!
You hear me?
- I'm going to kill you! - Remember to stay out.
Isn't it awful?
He's loud, isn't he?
If you ever need a friend...
...I wouldn't count on that character.
He had a darling bead centered in the middle of your forehead.
If he'd missed me an inch either way, we'd be at your darling funeral.
- Okay, that makes us even. - Not quite.
Still a little matter of $100,000.
Yeah, now I remember.
If you'd remembered to be slower you'd be a bit richer.
Yeah, I gotta remember that for the next time.
Charming. Just charming.
Very grateful, this friend of yours.
Oh, yes. I thought you knew. And very generous too.
Thanks for recognizing me.
You knew he was there all the time?
- I'm sorry, Zack. I couldn't resist. - I'm glad you didn't.
- Would you like to join us? - Gentlemen, excuse me.
I don't feel quite up to a chatty little lunch.
- You have things to talk about. - That's right, we have.
I'm sorry I can't lend a hand at the moment. Perhaps later.
In fact, it will be a pleasure.
- Goodbye, my dear. - Au revoir, gentlemen.
Good afternoon.
- Let's get down to business. - I drink much better standing.
- Lead on. I'll follow. - You'll understand if I get my hat?
You won't need it, but I'll understand.
- Brandy. - Yes, Mr. Thomas.
Mr. Jarrett, how many states would you say you're wanted in?
- How many states are there? - I could get you a pardon in Texas.
- For how much? - $100,000.
I give you $100,000, and you'll get me a pardon?
In most states, I could buy a pardon for $5000...
...as well as a governor. - You're thinking of Rhode Island.
This here's Texas. And here, your life goes with it.
Now, I'd be no good to you dead. The money would go to my heirs.
Wife?
Well, not exactly. It's like an old friend. A good friend.
- And, well, then there are kids. - Kids?
All 25 of them.
Twenty-five?
You must have the fastest horse in Texas.
Have more of this to keep your strength up.
- Zack! - I was just coming to see you.
- I know, but please, l... - This is Jarrett.
This is Joe Jarrett?
Why, drinking like friends. Zack, may I see you in private?
That's fine. I was on my way to draw out some of my money from your bank.
- Matson tried to kill me. - I had nothing to do with it.
- I swear on my sacred word of honor. - On your what?
I believed you about that dossier...
...and I have loyalty to my board.
I don't know what Matson was thinking.
I told him this was no time to...
I'm not putting a bullet...
...in your big fat head because I might need you.
But I may not need you for long.
Sweet blackberries!
Shrimp!
Clams!
Get your crawfish right off the shrimp boat!
Strawberries!
How does it look to you?
Man, if somebody's looking for splinters, this is the place.
There's something about that old boat, Mr. Jarrett.
I won't believe it until I see Noah come off of that deck.
This is really a fine boat. A little paint...
...to fix her up and she'd be ready... - Ready to fall apart.
You should announce yourself.
If I gave a real loud yell...
...the vibration would cause this tub to collapse.
You better duck.
- The hat isn't worth anything. - It means money in the bank.
I've never ducked from anybody in my life.
Do that again, I'll shoot through your water line.
- Duck! You don't know Max. - The unknown don't scare me.
Christopher Columbus' blood flows through my veins.
Are you all right, Mr. Jarrett?
I remembered Christopher couldn't swim.
Don't worry, I'll get you out.
Max, hold it!
Angel, throw him that life preserver. We'll get you out in a jiffy.
I wanted to wait until Saturday to take a bath.
Here!
- Oh, I'm sorry. - You trying to save me or sink me?
Over your head. That's it.
Here, George!
Hold onto this belt.
You're doing fine. You're just a bit wet, that's all.
Fine Southern hospitality. Invite me to buy a boat...
...and you try to drown me.
Right, you're looking great.
Just a little wet, that's all. There you are.
Come down here to help a friend. What do they do? They...
- It's still a fine boat. - I'm sorry, Max didn't mean nothing.
When Max does mean something, I hope I'm not around.
Wait till you meet Max, though. Oh, you're gonna...
Boy, oh, boy!
Max, meet Mr. Jarrett. Mr. Jarrett, Maxine Richter.
Howdy, ma'am.
An unwritten law of the sea says I must make you welcome.
- Come aboard. - Yes, ma'am.
The firing must have been a 21 -gun salute.
By the way, which unwritten law do I come under?
The law of hospitality to a man overboard.
I'm not overboard yet.
Not quite yet, but I will admit just a little push might do it.
- Max. - Why do you come here?
- He wants to help you, Miss Maxie. - By looking at me that way?
Well, don't let the inflamed eyes fool you.
I always look like that when I go swimming.
Max is as gentle as a kitten, when you get to know her.
Being welcomed, can I get out from under the rifle and into dry clothes?
Come inside. You can change in my cabin.
- What? It's an unwritten law. - An unwritten law.
That's right. Unwritten law.
- My glass is empty. - Coming, Joe.
Who belongs to this kimono?
- My husband. - Your husband?
He was shot dead in a poker game last year.
Too bad.
- A professional gambler? - Not professional enough, apparently.
Now you're looking for somebody to provide you with security. Right?
The boat is my security. I'm looking for a deal.
If somebody wanted to fix it up as a casino, for instance...
...I would be interested in any proposition.
I like the service here. I could make you a proposition.
Good.
- I have a couple of questions for you. - You go right ahead.
I want to be totally clear. I have no complaints about the hospitality.
- You have been pleased? - Yes. It was a pleasure being aboard.
But I was just wondering about a few little details.
Why did you take those shots at me?
The men here think a European woman is available, just like so.
But the shots were a warning. I can be approached...
...but on my own terms. - I see. Courtship, European-style.
I like it, except the first few minutes.
I wasn't trying to hit you. It was...
...how you say, a come-along.
- "Come-along"? A come-on? - A come-on.
A 30-caliber come-on. What was with the crockery and the slap in the face?
Is that more of that maidenly resistance?
No. That was for the benefit of the hired help.
- A girl's got her reputation. - Not my reputation, yours.
Those two will serve you better if they think you are masterful.
I think I'm being used.
No. You're not being used, you're being served.
I'm being served?
But why me? Why was I elected? Why not Zachary Thomas, for instance?
I was giving him the come-along too. Then Angel told me you got the money.
Fortunately, I like honesty in a partner. All right, honey.
I'll throw in the money. Have it fixed up.
We'll be equal partners.
- Equal partners will not work. - I don't take orders too good.
But I do. You will give the orders. You will be the master.
I give the orders?
All right. Make that new. Go on. Another drink.
Yes, sir.
What I don't understand about European women is...
...why you want me to be lord and master when I...
...offered you a partnership? - It's my training, Joe.
How things should be between a man and a woman.
A man as a partner, I don't understand. But a master...
A master, him I know how to handle.
Don't go away, Max. I just thought of another order.
- We're in business. - Maybe we're in business.
I never saw a lady barber before.
- Are there barber schools for ladies? - No, I learned as a girl.
I remember Mama went after Papa with a razor a few times.
Zack, why are you letting them fix up that old tub?
Why would a lady of your breeding and background...
...want to be a barber? - The money.
At the moment it's all under his name in your bank.
- How am I gonna get ahold of it? - Breeding is acquired.
By legal action.
- Being a barber gives you breeding? - But that would take time.
I thought I'd try to sabotage his effort to renovate.
Do you think this fellow would discourage easily?
No.
When we're done, they'll be glad to sell the boat for $ 7.12.
- All right, next. Name? - Mancini. Pete Mancini.
Pete Mancini. All right, next.
- Name? - Fred Welsh.
In the saloon, Mancini. Max'll give you the uniform.
- No guns. - What if there's any trouble?
Clubs, hammers, fists, feet. Anything but guns. Now move it.
- Next. - Five more men, Mr. Jarrett.
- All right, bring 'em on down. - Come on.
No. You must look as though you were born to it.
I was born to an alcoholic daddy who liked all the dollies.
I figure Daddy was right.
Go find your alcohol and your dollies somewhere else. Now get out!
All right.
What would your daddy say to that?
Why you...
Joe!
All right, get rid of him.
Tell Zack I got his message and I'll deliver his reply personally.
Oh, men!
Anybody else with comments on what they like or not?
- Can I see you for a moment? - Sure. Why not?
Why are you going ashore to see Zack Thomas?
Every square inch of paint we scraped around here...
...Zack feels like it's coming off his hide.
He sent him to start trouble.
He sends one stupid little man to slow us down?
He paid that man to insult me...
...so you'd go into Zack's territory with that red in your eye.
If that was his plan, it worked.
Do you have any reason to think I admire Zack Thomas?
You gave him the old come-along.
I heard you been shooting a lot of ammunition to flirt with Casanova.
Don't shoot at him again.
If you raise the rifle at other men, I'll break it over your pretty skull.
Joe, there is no reason to be jealous.
All right, so I gave Zack Thomas a little come-along.
But, Joe, I didn't let him come aboard.
- Good afternoon, Mrs. Trowbridge. - Good afternoon, Williams.
- Good afternoon, Madame Trowbridge. - Good afternoon.
- Madame Elya will be with you soon. - Thank you.
Isn't it lucky? Now we both got fellows.
Of our own.
- Shall we - Yes, we shall.
It's showtime, Mr. Jarrett.
- I could've outfitted an army by now. - Not this kind of army, Boss.
We are ready, monsieur.
- That is gorgeous. - Would you care to sit here?
Beautiful.
How do you like it?
Just ease it across the hips a little and bring up the neckline.
I understand how it is when one contemplates marriage.
Marriage? Marriage is for married people.
Now that you're serious, you're already acting like a husband.
I am definitely not a husband and I never intend to become one.
Marriage has nothing to do with it. It's all right if she wants to go...
In the altogether, Joe?
Put it any way you want...
If you show them everything, they may not come back.
That's part of it.
- Good afternoon, Zack. - Elya, you look absolutely charming.
You've succeeded in gilding the lily.
And that's some lily-gilding.
If you will excuse me, I have so many other lilies to gild.
- May I, Bill? - Yes, sir.
- When are you planning to open? - When the workmen are finished.
That's too bad. We hardly know each other.
There's hardly been time with all your other interests and... activities.
That's true. We've all been very busy in our own little way.
Madame. Joe. May the best man win.
- So far there's no contest. - So far.
- The game isn't over yet. - Right.
I hear the northwest docks might be condemned.
What does he mean, Joe?
He means our customers can't cross the docks to get to the boat.
- Not cross the docks? - And it's a shame, too, isn't it?
After spending all of that nice money.
- But there are other docks. - Yes, there are other docks.
But they're all controlled by Mr. Harvey Burden. Right?
Your grasp of the situation is precise.
Too bad because there isn't another berth in Galveston.
- I think you might be interested. - Thank you, Bill.
You'll excuse me. See you later, darling.
Yes, of course.
- Shall we? - We shall.
Boss, take a look.
"Consigned and insured by Mr. Zack Thomas."
So it's an insurance job?
Find out if there are any survivors.
- It says that all are lost. - Lf I'm right, there's one survivor.
The one who got paid to pull the plug.
- You go find him. - Leave it to me. I'll find him.
One gross lot lavender smelling salts, 500...
Ladies' saloon?
That's a mistake. It should have been "salon," not "saloon."
I'm not so sure.
With these prices, it'd be cheaper to drink.
Do me a favor, Max? Will you get me some coffee? Black. Strong.
- Joe? - Yeah?
- How do you like my new negligée? - It's fine. You look good in anything.
Max, will you get me the coffee please?
The galley's so far away and the fire is probably out.
- I have some brandy in my cabin. - Yes, sure.
I want coffee. She wants brandy.
Women. You can see right through them!
I didn't remodel a boat, I bought a fleet!
Do you mind spending money for things you really want?
Not if it's something I really want. What's money?
I'm glad you feel that way. Men who worry about little things bore me.
Brandy?
Perhaps you prefer to have something else?
Oh, no, this is fine. No, it's fine.
Oh, poor Joe, you were so thirsty.
You didn't notice what I'm wearing.
- You're wearing something? - Lf you don't like it...
No. Dear, there's a draft out there.
You can sit down here. You can catch a cold.
- I like men who worry about me. - Don't worry. I'm a great worrier.
Sometimes I worry for months on end.
After this afternoon, you might think my gown is too revealing.
Do you think my gown is too revealing?
No. Too many clothes, you get overheated. It's unhealthy.
But earlier, at Madame Elya's, you said they were too revealing.
Oh, I must have been crazy.
Perhaps you feel like most American men do.
I don't feel any less. I guarantee you that.
Most American men pretend to dislike in public what they prefer in private.
I'm not into crowds. But if you want audience, you go to a saloon.
How do you feel about marriage, Joe?
Fine, but who'd have us?
Oh, no, Max. You're not thinking about marriage?
Of course not. Why should I think about marriage?
That's why I like you, Max. You got brains. You think like a man.
I'm glad, Joe. Then it doesn't bother you that I'm a woman?
With what you got on, I'd be in trouble if you were a man.
After the boat opens and you're a success, what'll you do then, Joe?
- Count money. - It can't be very much fun alone.
There'd be you and me.
- Just the two of us? - You're talking about a crowd again.
It might be less drafty in my cabin, Joe.
- I'll go close the windows. - The windows are already closed.
- I'll go open them. It's healthier. - Will you do it for me, Joe?
- Open the windows in my cabin? - Oh, come on, Max.
If I go to that cabin, we know what's gonna happen.
You'll be thinking about marriage again.
But I think like a man, Joe.
- You said so. - You don't look like a man.
- Please, Joe. - No.
- Joe, please? - No!
Please, Joe.
I'll be in here, Joe. I'll wait for you.
- Please, Joe. - No.
Joe, please.
Why should I be strong?
I found him! Me, Angel. The sole survivor of the Spindrift.
- The Spindrift? - Come. I'll take you to him. Let's go!
- Well, you're coming? - I'm coming.
Oh, men!
- What was that? - The wind.
There's a hell of a storm coming up.
- Hey, then what's that? - The storm's getting worse.
Mr. Burden hired me to scuttle the Spindrift.
- Burden? With or without cotton? - Without.
Burden made a deal with a broker, insured the cotton...
...then we left it on the dock and sailed out empty.
Couple of days later I scuttled the boat. Came back here.
To collect from Burden.
I collected all right. A full load in the guts.
I better get him out of here, Mr. Jarrett.
He won't be much of a witness without that hole plugged up.
Looks like our witness just ran out on us.
As far as anyone knows he's still alive and ready to talk.
Where are they?
- In your office. - My office? Why my office?
They said it'd be all right.
Come right in. Make yourself at home. We've been waiting for you.
So I see.
Real cozy place you got here, Mr. Burden.
Sit down, Mr. Burden. Mr. Jarrett wishes to talk to you.
Last night we talked with the owner of that hat.
You couldn't have. There weren't any survivors.
- Crew's all dead. - All dead? Not this one.
He's on his way to north Texas, where he'll be safe.
If you want us to send for him and bring him back...
I don't understand you, Harvey. He just plain blackmailed you.
Why did you sign the lease?
Zack, please. I told you I signed impulsively to... to protect you.
- I was afraid they would hang you. - Hang me?
Don't be ridiculous! I wouldn't touch a false insurance claim.
Let alone scuttle a ship and murder 35 men!
- What gave you the idea he had a case? - I don't know.
What're we gonna do about Jarrett and his gambling boat?
You don't leave me much choice. He now has the dock rights.
But don't worry. Opening night will be closing night.
I hope so.
I sometimes feel I don't have the intestinal fortitude for this job.
I think guts is the word, Harv. What you don't have is guts.
That could well be.
I expect to see you and the missis at the opening.
We wouldn't want Jarrett to think we forgot our manners, would we?
No, I guess not.
Good morning, Madame Carlson.
What's bothering him?
Harvey's not thrilled about going to the opening.
You're not allowing them to open that ridiculous boat?
Them or they may be just a lot brighter than all of us.
And another thing. You are going to the opening.
Don't bother to ask any questions, because I want you to go.
- Any other questions? - No other questions.
Zack!
- I love you. - Sure you do, sweetheart.
- And I love you too. - I didn't mean it that way.
- No? How did you mean it? - I want to get married.
- Is that all? - Is there more?
Frankly, there's much more.
Like the question of your happiness.
Right now you're well taken care of. Secure.
But suppose I said yes.
And then I went out there and they...
Let me put it this way. A gambler's not a very good insurance risk.
And the people who disturb me most at funerals are the women.
Especially widows.
But the sight of you in sackcloth is something more than I bargained for.
Then you do love me? Please quit. Before they kill you.
If they do, you'll be busy whipping up a mourning outfit and forget about me.
- Zack! - What?
Kiss me?
Kissing you is always a pleasure, darling.
There she is. All done.
I think she looks pretty damn good. She looks beautiful.
Joseph, I'm really proud of you. You did a wonderful job.
Our boat. It looks fantastic.
Not me, Max, us. All of us made our boat look fantastic.
- Want me to try, Mr. Jarrett? - Let her blow!
Lower to the left.
- All right? - Perfect. Now nail it on.
Gentlemen, please be our guest.
I name you La Maison Rouge.
Here is to all of you hardworking gentlemen who made this possible.
If you have any wages burning a hole...
...in your pocket, you know where to go.
- Captain, who pays the two dollars? - What two dollars?
Easy with the picture.
Be serious, we gotta find out who this picture belongs to.
You must be Miss Maxine.
The storage company sent us to deliver your picture.
- What makes you so sure it's hers? - It's her all right.
Are you kidding? Come take a look.
You guys recede.
- She really posed for that? - Yes, that's me.
Yeah.
- I wonder if he did it from memory. - Yeah, that's her.
- I wish my wife looked like that. - Yeah.
This was all my husband left me. He was a connoisseur of art.
Shame he didn't leave you clothes to go with it.
- Who pays the two dollars? - As soon as you hang it over the bar.
- Up the gangplank, to the starboard. - Yes, ma'am.
- Starboard is to the right. - That's where I'm going.
When I say go, we'll point to the right.
Go!
I'll do it so even you can understand. Now go!
- Curly Joe. - What?
- He's a nitwit. - He's stupid.
Now when I say "go" we'll all point to the right. Go!
Now he's stupid.
Captain, help me out? I'm dealing with two mental midgets.
When I say "go" we'll all point to the right. Go!
- Go! - There they are!
There they are!
Now wait a minute.
Stop beating up on me!
Leave her alone. She reminds me of my mother.
We didn't mean any harm.
- I told you. - You never had a mother.
- Shame on you. - Remind me to have you stuffed.
That picture is a disgrace to Galveston.
You won't hang that disgraceful picture.
Get your mother out of here, Whistler!
Get her in that chair.
Take it easy. She'll be all right.
- Don't worry, Mildred. - Is she all right?
- These wheelchairs are dangerous. - Are you all right?
Yes. You'll be all right.
Just a minute.
You struck one of the toughest men from Texas. Tell her, Tex.
- Oh, did I? - Maybe you don't understand.
He's the toughest man from Texas. Give her an adjective.
Wait a minute.
It couldn't be better if we planned it.
- How so? - It's the oldest military tactic.
Keep the enemy fighting among themselves.
Let them fight. Let them beat each other to a pulp.
Then we'll move in on Mr. Jarrett and Mr. Thomas with 200 men.
Fresh men.
And here's the man I've taken care of...
...and nurtured to be the leader of our gladiators.
Gentlemen, an old friend of yours.
Why, it's Matson.
That's right, gentlemen. Mr. Matson.
Wonder when he got back.
- He looks fully recovered. - He sure does.
- Can he still use his gun hand? - Matson, tell the gentlemen...
...how carefully we planned our skirmish.
What signal do I give when I'm on the boat...
...and you're waiting with your men?
Jarrett will use the boat whistle when Zack attacks...
...and when you want me, just double that signal.
Simple.
This may just prove to be one of the bloodiest arenas in history.
Gentlemen, tonight's opening would not be possible...
...without your help.
Keep in mind this is LA Maison Rouge not the Last Chance Saloon...
...and this will be a memorable night for Galveston...
...and a profitable one for us. Be on your best behavior.
It's very simple. When in doubt, just smile.
If you're in doubt, call on Renee.
Renee has been appointed maitre d'hôtel. That means "headwaiter."
You all know what to do.
Mr. Jarrett would like to say a few words.
Remember one thing. No rough stuff unless you hear the whistle.
If it looks like trouble with uninvited visitors...
...Angel will give two blasts on the pipe. Right?
- Right. - Then you go all out.
We must catch them at the dock.
Have you got that straight? Good luck to all of us.
Wait for the customers? Do you really think there will be any?
If nothing else brings them out, that dress will.
- You like it? - Sure. I paid for it!
They're coming, Mr. Jarrett!
All right, men. Places.
I guess we all understand that?
Look at all them pigeons.
Don't shoot until the green on their money shows.
- Here we go, Prince George. - Yes, sir!
All right, the show is on.
Isn't this wonderful, Henry?
This Jarrett's a clever fellow.!
So that's the notorious Maxine Richter.
Max, to her friends.
Do you think Zack Thomas will let Jarrett get away with it?
I see we are honored by some of the oldest families in Galveston.
And by some of the youngest wives.
Mr. And Mrs. Winthrop Trowbridge.
Mr. And Mrs. Harvey Burden!
- Good evening. - Mr. Jarrett.
It's a pleasure to welcome you both.
- Mr. Burden. - We're having more fun.
Very gratifying. Very gratifying indeed.
Come along, Evelyn. I see some friends.
Deal, deal, deal.
Pay 18.
Thank you.
- Credit these to my account. - Yes, Mr. Godfrey.
Ladies, shall we? How about that?
That's right, Arthur Godfrey.
Presenting Madame Elya Carlson!
- Stop staring, William. - Who's staring?
What an entrance. Look at those diamonds. They look real.
- Quite a sight, Max? - Lf you like the type.
Oh, it takes all kinds...
If Elya's here, then Zachariah can't be far behind.
Hey, Boss.
Boss.
They're here, they're here. Well, come on.
Mr. And Mrs. Jacques Byrnes.
- You be ready when I tell you. - You bet.
Maestro, please.
Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please?
Miss Maxine will say a few words.
Ladies and gentlemen, some visitors are about to drop in unexpectedly.
Mr. Jarrett will meet them on the dock and explain that we are full.
It might take some convincing. But no one here will be harmed.
In the meantime, have fun.
We have spared no expense to make La Maison Rouge...
...your pleasure home away from home.
And if you'll just continue to enjoy yourself...
...Mr. Jarrett will rejoin us shortly.
Please, be our guests, drink up. Maestro.
Men, let's go.
Come on. Hustle it up. Everybody, let's go.
Oh, it's Zack Thomas.
Men, get into position.
- I hope Jarrett knows what he's doing. - Just like we planned it.
Shape up, boys. Shape up.
Don't start anything unless Mr. Jarrett says so.
Good evening. You have a reservation?
This boat was my idea. We're taking over as of now.
This is opening night. By the time your men and my men...
...figure out who's taking over, nothing will be left.
If the boat is wrecked and a customer gets hurt...
You mean there'll be no more gold mine. What do you suggest?
I don't like to louse up a new sporting jacket, but...
...maybe you and I could settle this between us. Winner take all.
I got more men. You're trying to even up the odds.
Maybe you were man enough to bet on yourself for a change.
Want to show off, huh?
And you don't, huh?
Well, how about it?
Don't look for no favors, Joe.
- Don't let him get away with that! - That's just not cricket.
I said, don't look for no favors.
The one who's on his feet when this is over wins it all.
Everything? Gift-wrapped, everything. Winner take all.
Everybody out of it. Just Zack and me.
Everybody out.
All of you. And you too, and you too.
Hold it!
Stay here until we hear that whistle.
You three, and you three, stay with me.
Wait a minute! You heard what he said.
We'll wait and see who'll come out upright!
- What did you say? - I said upright!
Hold it.
Hold, hold.
That dirty rat Burden!
I know why he wouldn't give you access to this dock!
He let the Spindrift sail empty and then scuttled it.
He probably intends to sell me my own cotton.
Nice reliable fellow to do business with.
I won't hand you Galveston on a silver platter. You'll have to take it.
- Come on in, Max. - I won't go for that old joke.
No, Zack. I really didn't think you would.
Now, this fight has rules.
I'm here to break the rules.
Why not? You got the gun.
All right, let's go.
Remember! Zack Thomas belongs to me.
Well, if I have to die...
...I prefer being killed by the hand of a beautiful woman.
If you're not careful, my darling, you might have your wish.
Honey!
Not yet.
Grown men acting like little schoolboys.
I suggest you both become partners in everything, including cotton.
I don't like partners.
Hey, boss! They're coming.
Harvey Burden's men. Matson is leading them!
How many?
- About a couple of thousand. - How many?
At least 200.
Partners?
- Partners. - Welcome, partner.
Partners.
All right, listen to me.
Jarrett and I are partners. That puts us all together.
Let's deploy and protect the boat.
Come on, ladies. Andiamo, andiamo.
What's the matter with you?
You heard him. You and I'll fight together now, Chad.
- Against who? - Against them, that's who!
That don't seem right, fighting together. Why?
Why? Because they are the bad guys, that's why!
- Ain't we the bad guys? - No, we're the good guys!
Let's go!
- I'm frightened, Sam. - We'll stay and see the fun.
Ladies, everything'll turn out fine.
He's got an army with him.
Don't be afraid to use them torches.
- This'll be some bonfire. - Get set, men. Get ready, come on.
All right, let's go.
Don't let those rats on the boat.
Watch the torches, they may try to burn it down.
All right, let's get them.
My eyes!
Keep them off the boat!
I'll take care of them, boss.
You ain't taking care of me.
- Looking for somebody? - Matson...
...I feel better when I know what he's doing.
Me too!
Get that daring young man.
- Seen Matson? - Not yet.
I've been thinking. You're liable to blow Burden up, too.
He wants this boat blown up. I can't help it if he's on board.
Don't think.
Wait for me, you understand?
It's Matson. Up there on the wheel.
All right, Mr. Matson. It's your deal.
Looks like the water's on fire.
Because he's arranging that deal with the devil.
I'm laying eight to five he doesn't make it back.
Come along with us, Mr. Burden.
The U.S. Marshal would like to see you.
Some misunderstanding about the Spindrift.
Probably nothing at all.
- Harv! - Don't call me "Harv"!
Ready.
You're going to treasure this picture.
And you're lucky to have married two such lovely, innocent girls.
- Don't tell me how to spell! - I was only trying to help.
I know how to spell!
With four for Texas in the mood...
...they'll have themselves a real fine brood.
- Like me? - Yes, like you.
Good guys always get married and live happily ever after.
If it don't turn out too good, Zack and me figure we can light out.
And, oh yeah, this is the end.